Time Heals All

8d0c5d8bd64b656981865b67056ce243--breakup-strength-quotes-marriage-breakup-quotesGetting over a break up is hard. People often ask me how I got over my relationship and how I have remained so strong through it all. Of course I have certain circumstances different than most of my friends….cheating, dumped, baby. I depended so much on my boyfriend, we planned our future together and about to were have a baby. The relationship for the last two years of five was toxic, it wasn’t healthy at all. Eventually it lead to him being unfaithful, abusive, and to breaking up.

Being pregnant and dumped was hard, even harder entering motherhood alone. It took until my son was born and a good 6 months’ post baby to get over my ex and to learn how to love myself again. My son gave me the strength I needed.  I think my hitting point was when I had a complete mental breakdown at 3am in my friend’s kitchen. That is when I realised I wasn’t ok and had to make a change.

A month after my son was born I gave myself an entire makeover and turned to working out. I needed to do something for me, something to give me confidence and to get out all the frustration. I told myself I didn’t need guy to be happy, that I could be successful without a guy. I didn’t need him. As time went by it got easy. I met guys, went on dates, had a few “almost relationships” (tell you about that another time).  Three years later I don’t think about the breakup or him. When someone asks about it the thought of it can be a little upsetting, but it’s not because I’m not over it or still care. It was a huge moment and struggle in my life, it ultimately evolved me into the women I am today.

Dating today is hard, and eventually ill fall in love again and it will be great. But for now, I am happy and proud of myself and my little family of just Blu and I. My advise, don’t stress it, focus on yourself, things will eventually come into place.

Its true what they say time heals all.

 

xo.

Advertisements

Bittersweet

FullSizeRender.jpgIt has been three years that my cute adorable fluffy Pomeranian Prada passed away. I’ll never forget the day I had to experience my greatest fear. Prada meant the world to be, we were inspirable, as lame as it sounds she was my baby. The day she past I felt as if my life was shattered, little did I know it was about the get worse. The phone call, my reaction, it was as if I was dreaming.

It was May 23, 2014, I was at work like any other day, dealing with annoying clients and of course morning sickness, yes I was three months pregnant. I was in the back room texting like usual when my brother sent me a text saying that Prada was out for a walk with my mother, WITHOUT a leash. He then went on to telling me she saw a rabbit so went off to chase it, resulting in getting hit by a car. I was so furious because my mom never listen to my rules, even now with my child, honestly I still have a fear when she takes my son out for a walk to this day. I demanded he go make sure she was ok and take her to the hospital and continued to ask what happened, but no response. I then got a text about half hour later that she had passed. I went crashing to the floor screaming. I immediately went home, my brother had to be lying I thought, there must be something I can do, I just had to get home. I burst through the door calling her name almost running right over her. She was gone.

Later that evening my boyfriend came rushing home, he was the one who had given me the dog 4 years prior. He had been away for school for a week. When he arrived, he told me we would take her body to The Winnipeg Humane Society and we would cremate her. The next day we arrived at the WHS, I of course broke down crying again. After we made the cremation arrangements he suggested we go look at the puppies, I yelled at him for being so insensitive, I could not look at another dog, that would make me feel worse. He then suggested we go see the kitties, I said “fine, only to look”.

IMG_3092 As we were playing and looking at the kitties, one caught our attention. A fluffy little grey wild child. After playing with him for a few minutes he told me we should adopt it. I remember thinking, “our dog just died and you want to replace her with a cat….are you crazy! He begged we get him that it would make me feel better, especially since he was going to be leaving again the next day. We agreed to put the cat on hold for 24HRS, but I did not promise I would come back.

My boyfriend was great at persuading me, and truly believed the kitty would make me much happier, he even offered to cover all the costs. The following day I woke up still sad and decided to go see the kitty once more. I was never a cat person, but there was something about this cat that persuaded me to think differently. I mean Prada used to get along with cats more than dogs, and this cat didn’t act like the usually stereotypical lazy grumpy cat. Maybe it was the sadness, or pregnancy brain but after thought and nagging from my boyfriend, I decided to adopt the cat.

….

Fast forward three years later, Berlioz is still the same fluffy goof and surprisingly best friends with my mom’s dog. Sure, maybe he’s just a tad lazy, but I mean so am I. My sadness over the loss of Prada faded (have a shrine of her in my room), and my three-year-old son Blu adores the cat.

Yes, I realize after reading this you may think I’m easily persuaded, but really who isn’t when it comes to cute fluffy things like animals!

As bittersweet as adopting my cat was, I don’t regret it. I can proudly say I am officially a cat lover.

xo.

Body Acceptance & Shaming

 

eb56308f6cae14328fb157aea7154609.jpg
http://www.sncmedia.ru/love/kak-rost-i-ves-vliyayut-na-uspekhi-v-lichnoy-zhizni/

You can’t go a day without hearing or reading about somebody fat shaming, embracing their bodies, or someone just expressing their opinions. People will say you should look like this, I want look like you or to just love yourself.

Shaming

Instagram is where you encounter most of the comments, from post of people wanting to get into shape use progress photos to motivate and feel proud of themselves or people who just generally love their bodies and want to embrace it. You then see people making comments such as “you looked better before”, “you’re too muscular”, “too fat” and “too skinny”. Why are we consistently bashing and putting down other? Is it because oneself is insecure or jealous?

Perspective

A few days ago, I was speaking to my friend who often at times has other girls come up to her saying they wish they had her body and were as skinny as she was. She then told me she hates when girls make this comment, that the way she looks isn’t particularly healthy. She suffers from an eating disorder, and no not your average eating disorder. She gets sick if she eats too much and becomes full very easily. Ever since she was a child she hasn’t been able to properly digest meat protein, which resulted in her becoming a vegetarian from a young age. To be fair, before she shared this with me the thoughts of how thing she was and how much bigger I was then her, crossed my mind. Even when she brought up the eating disorder I automatically thought anorexia. It wasn’t until I heard her story to realize and understand her perspective and struggle.

Like myself, everyone at some point has contributed to this problem, whether it be intentional or not. The thing is we don’t know what the other person we are saying these things to feel, think or what they may be going thru.

Acceptance

So, where do we draw the line between telling people to accept and love their bodies versus telling them they need to change?

We are all created differently and are all going through our own struggles. Some people are naturally thin with high metabolisms while others need to work hard to gain weight and put on muscle. Maybe some, like my friend, have health or dietary problems, where they have problems in gaining or losing weight. Regardless, what is important is that one is working towards a healthy life and to ultimately be happy. Nowhere is it to judge or insult others.

 

xo.

To wait or not to wait – Does it matter?

https://instagram.com/p/BMR7RzNhQOc/
As a woman in her mid 20’s, I have a high libido, I am not ashamed to say it. I enjoy sex, I love sex, no I don’t sleep around and no I don’t just sleep with anyone. If any readers here want to call me names, go right ahead. You’re not hurting my feelings.

However, what does bug me is whether or not sleeping with a guy too soon is going to make him more or less interested in you.

I was talking to friend the other day about a guy I recently met and whether or not holding off on sex really made a difference on how he perceived me, or kills any chance of having a relationship.  She told me “I don’t think it would have made a difference if you had waited. If sex is all he wants from you it won’t matter if it’s the first night or the 100th.”

I thought about it and figured she had a point. As young girls we are told to wait to have sex until marriage or for “the one”. That it should be a conquest, and used to get guys to do what we want. That the longer we wait, the more we hold out, the more he’ll chase. While waiting may lead to more dates and developing feelings for someone, who may potentially not even be interested in you, it really won’t make a difference. Having sex with a guy and learning these things early on might actually save you.

Yet here I am over analyzing all of this, still wondering am I ruining my chances of having a serious relationship or meeting Mr. Right by allowing myself to subjugate to my sexual urges?

What do you think?

xo.

Free the Nipple

“Humans aren’t afraid of human breasts. It’s the nipple that’s the issue…I’m showing my boobs and no one has a problem because the nipples are covered, so somehow that’s OK. America’s actually fine with tits. It’s nipples they don’t like—which is what you have. Which is insane, because the nipple, you can’t show, everyone has—but the jug part that everyone doesn’t, you’re allowed to show under-boob.” – Miley Cyrus

http://instagram.com/threethreethree_
A nipple. A small projection of the skin on the human body….
Yet people feel there is a need and expectation to cover your nipples in public at all times. Why? It is 2017, and with International Women’s Day passing just a few days ago, it is a time for women to unite, to feel free, proud and to embrace THE NIPPLE!

It has been two and a half years since I last wore a bra. I tried to wear one a few months ago and couldn’t stand being in it for more than five minutes….so I tossed it. Good riddance.  The fashion today, the braless trend to be exact, is the most political and social way of delivering the message of freedom and gender equality. Baring the body no longer has anything to do with sexual seduction. It is about feeling comfortable, beautiful and loving your body.

So why are we still censoring women’s nipples, and not men’s? Why must I feel ashamed, and risk social scrutiny because my nipples are exposed through my shirt? Why as women are we expected to follow a certain set of rules?

I have a hard time understanding the message we’re sending the younger generation when we erase such a crucial part of a woman’s body.  Women are self-objectified for embracing their bodies and being brave in their own skin. Nudity in our culture, especially female nudity, is sexualized. But in reality, being nude is not a sexual thing. Breast are so hyper-sexualized to the point that women cannot even breast feed their babies in public! Even social media sites like Instagram have completely banned anyone and anything with a nipple exposed, correction…A WOMEN’S NIPPLE.

Campaigns like Free the Nipple were created to empower women and to raise awareness against female censorship and oppression. However, the campaign doesn’t just advocate the freedom of public nipple exposure but also the legal right to breastfeed in public, and most importantly seeking gender equality. There are also other campaigns such as National No Bra Day, where women are encouraged to go braless for 24 hrs to support awareness of breast cancer and the importance of regular screen testing.

As women we should have the right to decide how we represent ourselves and our bodies, without the fear of society judging or attacking us. Embracing the freedom of nudity isn’t porn, it’s a movement. Having this freedom is about empowering one another and showcasing the importance of a women’s body, that it is more than just a sex object!

Pizza, The Greatest Food Created

HAPPY NATIONAL PIZZA DAY!

Can we all just agree that pizza is winning in the food game and is the solution to all things right now?

Aside from a LARGE glass of Merlot, pizza is my weakness. I could literally eat a whole XL to myself. I have always loved pizza, any kind of pizza, my favorite being Neapolitan style from Pizza 21st Century.  In the last year, I’ve noticed this major trend with the obsession of pizza, you see it and hear about it everywhere, especially within millennial females. Myself included. I am actually typing this all out as I eat a slice of pineapple feta pizza from A Little Pizza Heaven.

img_0802
@wpgpizzaprinces

Another woman who shares the love for pizza is WPG Pizza Princess , also known as Chelsea Allen. In 2014 Chelsea started an Instagram account, which had first started out as a blog, where she features post from different pizza shops in Winnipeg and ranks them.

Of course, being a pizza lover I began to follow her page and wondered why anywhere she went or anyone she met knew her as ‘the pizza princess’. I asked her if her love for pizza came post her struggles or prior, “I wouldn’t say I necessarily have always loved it as much as I do now, but I’ve always ranked it pretty high on my favorite foods…Pizza became my safe food and since then it has always been my favourite.”

In 2008, like a lot of young women, Chelsea began to struggle a lot with weight and body image issue. A year later she was medically diagnosed with an eating disorder and for the few years following she struggled with her relationship with food. Now, Chelsea has managed to take control of her eating disorder, which lead to her creating the Instagram page, “I guess the Instagram started because I had finally found a food that I actually loved eating again.”

Eating disorders are the most common mental illness amongst young women. According to a survey done by the Government of Canada, about 1.5% of Canadian women ages 14-24 have suffered from an eating disorder. There are three main eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia and binge-eating. An eating disorder is not only about how you see, or your relationship with food but its also on how you feel about yourself and body.

img_0803
@wpgpizzprincess

Today you can’t log into social media sites or walk in to a store without seeing pizza pictures, clothing, memorabilia or memes everywhere, and more specifically having a correlation with females. Although, Chelsea does not necessarily believe the pizza craze is specific to females, but people in general, she shares her thoughts on this recent trend with me, “The internet is the answer. Seriously people just become obsessed with trends on social media now a days and like to be involved. Just so happens this trend tastes good too so the obsession is real…”Thanks to social media and this new trend, pizza sales and consumption have increased immensely.

screen-shot-2017-02-09-at-8-43-17-pm
@wpgpizzaprincess

After all this talk around pizza I had to know of all the pizza Chelsea has tried where the best pizza she has ever tasted was from, “Chicago had amazing deep dish pizza. Deep dish is honestly on another level, there are so many toppings and so much cheese. I could only eat one slice at a time!” For those of you who don’t know about this famous Chicago-Style Deep Dish Pizza, like its name, it is essentially an upside-down pizza baked in a round, relatively deep baking pan with a thicker crust and stuffing, allowing for more sauce, cheese and ingredients.

So now after reading this if you are craving a slice of some amazing pizza, here is a list of Chelsea’s top 6 pizza spots to eat at in Winnipeg. Go check them out, and make sure to follow her personal Instagram @itsschelsea as well as @wpgpizzprincess to see some awesome pizza photography and keep up to date to where she orders from next!

img_0804
@wpgpizzaprincess

1. Vera Pizza – “can’t wait to check out Super Deluxe  their new restaurant!”
2. Pizziera Gusto
3. Pizza Land
4. Presto Pizza 
5. Pizza Hotline – “for when I order late night, thin crust only!”
6. DJays Restaurant 

xo.

Dj

Loving Yourself Through It All – w/ Meghan Zahari

The reality of “doing it all” is exhausting. Mothers are often so busy taking care of everything and everyone around them that they often forget to take care of the most important person – themselves.

Becoming a mother can sometimes make us feel as though any other meaning or identity we had before is gone. With the demands that our lives place on us, and with the expectations of society, it is easy to lose sight of who we are. As mother it is important that we become self-aware and take the time to care of ourselves both physically and mentally, not only for oneself but for our children.

One women who inspires me as a mother and a writer is co-owner of Bronuts, Meghan Zahari. Shes a donut shop owner by day, writer by night, mother and wife 24/7. Scrolling through her Instagram page and reading her work on Rouge Wood Supply, I am amazed with how she manages to stay sane and get it all done with such a busy schedule.

img_0577-1

https://www.instagram.com/meghanzahari/?hl=e

I exchanged a couple emails with Meghan asking her on her thoughts on self-love and rediscovery as a mother to avoid depression. She says, “The questions you get asked are all about your baby and sometimes about your body, so you’ll have to be bold and stick up for what’s going on inside your head. You’re not a bad mom if you feel sad or crowded. Do what you need to do, cause at the end of the day moms are still humans and we need to look after our physical and emotional needs just like anybody else.”

Despite taking care of your body and mind, as mothers we need to remember not lose ourselves or our identity in motherhood. Meghan shares, “It’s okay for you to have your own identity. It’s actually so good for your kids. I heard it said about motherhood once that martyrs make martyrs and creators make creators. I’ve never forgotten it.”

People have this ideal that being a “good” mother isn’t consistent with having time to yourself. It’s okay to be selfish and do something for your own fulfilment, regardless of what others think. It’s a necessity.  Meghan advised my readers, “Don’t let the expectations of culture dictate your feelings about yourself. The fact that you created a human should make you so proud of yourself. Be kind to yourself and look after your needs.”

I still consider myself a “new-mom”, but since day one I have always made sure to have my own identity beyond being “just Blu’s mom”. I made the choice not to let society control me. I don’t see why I should have to give up on my own ambitions and needs just because I am a mother.

 Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids. Love yourself enough to not lose yourself, because when you do everyone loses. Your children need you just as much as you need you. 

xo

Dj.

Society on Single Moms

images

I completely adore my son and love being his mom. However, no matter how hard I work to improve my life I still have to deal with the social stigma associated with being a single mom. I decided after my son was born that I was going to work on myself, my happiness and stop listening to what society or man’s expectations of women and single mothers should be.

The “Slut Shame”

People assume that I am a single mother because I slept around. Personally I was in a five-year relationship with my high school boyfriend, once I became pregnant he realized he wasn’t ready to be a father. I didn’t chose to be a single mother. I wanted a family. Unfortunately, life didn’t work out the way I planned. 

I am a very busy 23-year-old women who takes care of her child and makes sure to take care of herself. I am perfectly capable of being a great mother and still enjoy casual dating or sex. Being a busy mother in school, I don’t exactly have the time or energy required to be in a relationship – I also don’t envy relationships these days, this coming from my past two experiences. I’m also not sure I want to introduce my son to any potential new partners. Some people are just not worthy enough to get to know that part of my life. I don’t want to expose my son to anything that may just be temporary, put him in jeopardy or confuse him.

It seems to be a common thought that single moms sleep around looking for attention from males. This frustrates me. I do not value myself any less, or seek any form of attention or replacement father for my son because I am a single mom. If I am in a relationship it is simply because I enjoy my partners company and they make me happy.

The “Single Mom”

It baffles me how some women and men throw around the “you’re a single mom” phrase like it is some insult or a bad thing. It almost as if they assume that because I am a single mom I should be miserable, broke and have no life or aspiration beside raising my child. I am capable of being a great mother and still enjoy having a social, dating or sex life outside the house. If anything, I was in a much worse place and completely unhappy before becoming a mom. Those who think otherwise should probably educate themselves and reconsider what they are saying or how their own mothers would feel hearing something like that.

I try not to let comments get to me. I have become a strong, independent woman for going through what I have. My reason for being a single mom is no one else’s business but my own. I am an awesome person, with an even better kid, anyone who assumes any less is missing out.  I am not going to let other people diminish my hard work, I will not allow them to define me, I will not be ashamed of being a single mother.

As women we struggle enough in society, and it is time to put an end to it, we cannot allow other affect our self-esteem and our self-worth. So please before you start making rude comments or assumptions of us try to put yourself in our shoes.

xo.

Dj

 

 

Happy 2nd Birthday Blu

img_0326

To celebrate my toddler’s second birthday this past weekend, we had a Blues Clues themed party. As he gets older and more aware of his surroundings, planning his birthdays becomes more exciting. I was pleased with the effort I put into this party on a low cost budget, so I thought I would share with you some photos and planning tips.

 

 

 

Invitations

Paperless invites are the easiest, most efficient way of reaching all your invitees. For your kid’s first few birthdays it’s nice to have actual paper invitation to keep as mementos. I wanted the perfect invitation to fit the theme of the party so I created my own invitation on Vistaprint, which allows you to pick and edit a template. Invitations can be expensive, so to save money I simply scanned/saved the invitation template and printed them out for .30 cents at the photo kiosk at Walmart. They came out perfect!image7

Venue

Deciding on the right venue really depends on the season, the child’s age, and the number of people attending. Unlike my birthday, which is in the summer, throwing his party outdoors is not an option. Throwing the party at home allowed me to save the cost of renting a place. It’s a more comfortable familiar place for my son and since most of the guest were adults I didn’t have to worry about space for kid activities.

image6

Decorations

The entire colour scheme were the two different blue shades of Blue. I decorated the place with balloons, photos of all the characters, Blues paw prints, the Thinking Chair, painted a purple mailbox, and of course a stuffed Blue, which I also ordered from Ebay. I even went as far as to dress my son in a similar shirt as Steve and Joe.

image3

image2


img_0321

Eats and Treats

The party was in the late afternoon, so that called for appetizers rather than a full meal. The food menu consisted of tinfoil ham and cheese buns, fruit, veggies, chips and bean dip, poutine bites, empanadas, and eggrolls. The food went pretty quickly. For sweets, I had blue colored candy, and for his red velvet cake I hired an old co-worker and the owner of Dolce Bake Shop.  The cake wasn’t exactly how I had ordered it but it still tasted great.

image4

Favors

This year we had a few more kids attend the party then the last so I strictly only made take-home baggies for them. I ordered Handy Dandy Notebooks, with the matching jumbo crayon, and Blues Clues stickers for every child, which I also ordered from Ebay.  I also included blue crystal candy, party noise makers, fruit snack and a paw print clue cookie made by the same baker as his cake. I had a few extra treats that I handed out to other guests to snack on.
image1

….

One thing I wish I had done and will think about the following year is to hire a professional photographer to snap some better quality photos. With every year that passes I plan to out-do myself a little more than the last. Overall the party turn-out was great, and most importantly Blu had a lot of fun.

Leave a comment below on your thoughts of the theme, and if you have any other cost-saving party tips!

xo

Dj

Meeting with mentor David Bell – Dash Agency

After having to take time off school, it took me almost two years after my sons birth to decide what I was going to study, whether it be to finish the degree I had previously started, or go into a new field of study. I decided I was going to pursue my dream and study Public Relations. Before enrolling back into school and the new program I first did my research on local careers in the industry. The agency that caught my interest is Dash Agency.

Who?

I have been lucky enough to meet, and interview David Bell (one of the founders and president of Dash Agency), on two occasions. David has been named in the Marketing Magazine’s Top 30 Under-30 list, and is on the board for Calgary’s Ad Rodeo Association, and Manitoba’s Advertising & Marketing Association. Dash has done some incredible work with clients that include The Canadian Museum for Human Rights, EPH Apparel, Aveda Canada, and Variety Manitoba.

image1
http://www.dashagency.com/about

In high school David had started a YouTube channel, which eventually led him to having millions of followers. This lead him to learning all about subscribers, and how to create content, how to market, and engage it. He eventually wanted to turn this into building clients, and to generate more revenue. One thing he wishes he knew before going into his career is that when seeking clients, one needs to know how to set expectations on what you believe your results will be, whether it be good or bad. That it is also important to focus on culture, and emulate those you look up to.

Advice 

David, including all my professors have told me the most crucial advice when it comes to PR and getting your name out there is by networking, and building relationships with your clients. Because PR is a very social career it is important how well you’re engaged, what content you produce, and how big your following is. Being optimistic is the number one thing, because in this business if something goes wrong it is important to be able to handle the situation every single time, while always having a smile on your face.

He also shared that when he is looking into hiring new candidates he looks at a person’s portfolio, and if they have any freelance work. This helps you stand out from others, it is important to know how to pitch to new clients and how to persuade and contact the media. Depending on where you’re working you need to focus on culture, and emulate those you look up to, and study what other agencies and people are doing in bigger cities across the world.

It is great that an agency I look up to, and aspire to work for takes the time in their busy schedule to meet with students like me. Although meeting with him I got a little nervous and lost, he still made the entire experience comfortable, and easy.

If any of you aspire to work for any agency or company and want to get a little more info or feedback, I strongly suggested speaking to someone in the field, you’d be surprised how willing and eager they are to help you.

Dj.