To wait or not to wait – Does it matter?

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As a woman in her mid 20’s, I have a high libido, I am not ashamed to say it. I enjoy sex, I love sex, no I don’t sleep around and no I don’t just sleep with anyone. If any readers here want to call me names, go right ahead. You’re not hurting my feelings.

However, what does bug me is whether or not sleeping with a guy too soon is going to make him more or less interested in you.

I was talking to friend the other day about a guy I recently met and whether or not holding off on sex really made a difference on how he perceived me, or kills any chance of having a relationship.  She told me “I don’t think it would have made a difference if you had waited. If sex is all he wants from you it won’t matter if it’s the first night or the 100th.”

I thought about it and figured she had a point. As young girls we are told to wait to have sex until marriage or for “the one”. That it should be a conquest, and used to get guys to do what we want. That the longer we wait, the more we hold out, the more he’ll chase. While waiting may lead to more dates and developing feelings for someone, who may potentially not even be interested in you, it really won’t make a difference. Having sex with a guy and learning these things early on might actually save you.

Yet here I am over analyzing all of this, still wondering am I ruining my chances of having a serious relationship or meeting Mr. Right by allowing myself to subjugate to my sexual urges?

What do you think?

xo.

Free the Nipple

“Humans aren’t afraid of human breasts. It’s the nipple that’s the issue…I’m showing my boobs and no one has a problem because the nipples are covered, so somehow that’s OK. America’s actually fine with tits. It’s nipples they don’t like—which is what you have. Which is insane, because the nipple, you can’t show, everyone has—but the jug part that everyone doesn’t, you’re allowed to show under-boob.” – Miley Cyrus

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A nipple. A small projection of the skin on the human body….
Yet people feel there is a need and expectation to cover your nipples in public at all times. Why? It is 2017, and with International Women’s Day passing just a few days ago, it is a time for women to unite, to feel free, proud and to embrace THE NIPPLE!

It has been two and a half years since I last wore a bra. I tried to wear one a few months ago and couldn’t stand being in it for more than five minutes….so I tossed it. Good riddance.  The fashion today, the braless trend to be exact, is the most political and social way of delivering the message of freedom and gender equality. Baring the body no longer has anything to do with sexual seduction. It is about feeling comfortable, beautiful and loving your body.

So why are we still censoring women’s nipples, and not men’s? Why must I feel ashamed, and risk social scrutiny because my nipples are exposed through my shirt? Why as women are we expected to follow a certain set of rules?

I have a hard time understanding the message we’re sending the younger generation when we erase such a crucial part of a woman’s body.  Women are self-objectified for embracing their bodies and being brave in their own skin. Nudity in our culture, especially female nudity, is sexualized. But in reality, being nude is not a sexual thing. Breast are so hyper-sexualized to the point that women cannot even breast feed their babies in public! Even social media sites like Instagram have completely banned anyone and anything with a nipple exposed, correction…A WOMEN’S NIPPLE.

Campaigns like Free the Nipple were created to empower women and to raise awareness against female censorship and oppression. However, the campaign doesn’t just advocate the freedom of public nipple exposure but also the legal right to breastfeed in public, and most importantly seeking gender equality. There are also other campaigns such as National No Bra Day, where women are encouraged to go braless for 24 hrs to support awareness of breast cancer and the importance of regular screen testing.

As women we should have the right to decide how we represent ourselves and our bodies, without the fear of society judging or attacking us. Embracing the freedom of nudity isn’t porn, it’s a movement. Having this freedom is about empowering one another and showcasing the importance of a women’s body, that it is more than just a sex object!

Pizza, The Greatest Food Created

HAPPY NATIONAL PIZZA DAY!

Can we all just agree that pizza is winning in the food game and is the solution to all things right now?

Aside from a LARGE glass of Merlot, pizza is my weakness. I could literally eat a whole XL to myself. I have always loved pizza, any kind of pizza, my favorite being Neapolitan style from Pizza 21st Century.  In the last year, I’ve noticed this major trend with the obsession of pizza, you see it and hear about it everywhere, especially within millennial females. Myself included. I am actually typing this all out as I eat a slice of pineapple feta pizza from A Little Pizza Heaven.

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@wpgpizzaprinces

Another woman who shares the love for pizza is WPG Pizza Princess , also known as Chelsea Allen. In 2014 Chelsea started an Instagram account, which had first started out as a blog, where she features post from different pizza shops in Winnipeg and ranks them.

Of course, being a pizza lover I began to follow her page and wondered why anywhere she went or anyone she met knew her as ‘the pizza princess’. I asked her if her love for pizza came post her struggles or prior, “I wouldn’t say I necessarily have always loved it as much as I do now, but I’ve always ranked it pretty high on my favorite foods…Pizza became my safe food and since then it has always been my favourite.”

In 2008, like a lot of young women, Chelsea began to struggle a lot with weight and body image issue. A year later she was medically diagnosed with an eating disorder and for the few years following she struggled with her relationship with food. Now, Chelsea has managed to take control of her eating disorder, which lead to her creating the Instagram page, “I guess the Instagram started because I had finally found a food that I actually loved eating again.”

Eating disorders are the most common mental illness amongst young women. According to a survey done by the Government of Canada, about 1.5% of Canadian women ages 14-24 have suffered from an eating disorder. There are three main eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia and binge-eating. An eating disorder is not only about how you see, or your relationship with food but its also on how you feel about yourself and body.

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@wpgpizzprincess

Today you can’t log into social media sites or walk in to a store without seeing pizza pictures, clothing, memorabilia or memes everywhere, and more specifically having a correlation with females. Although, Chelsea does not necessarily believe the pizza craze is specific to females, but people in general, she shares her thoughts on this recent trend with me, “The internet is the answer. Seriously people just become obsessed with trends on social media now a days and like to be involved. Just so happens this trend tastes good too so the obsession is real…”Thanks to social media and this new trend, pizza sales and consumption have increased immensely.

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@wpgpizzaprincess

After all this talk around pizza I had to know of all the pizza Chelsea has tried where the best pizza she has ever tasted was from, “Chicago had amazing deep dish pizza. Deep dish is honestly on another level, there are so many toppings and so much cheese. I could only eat one slice at a time!” For those of you who don’t know about this famous Chicago-Style Deep Dish Pizza, like its name, it is essentially an upside-down pizza baked in a round, relatively deep baking pan with a thicker crust and stuffing, allowing for more sauce, cheese and ingredients.

So now after reading this if you are craving a slice of some amazing pizza, here is a list of Chelsea’s top 6 pizza spots to eat at in Winnipeg. Go check them out, and make sure to follow her personal Instagram @itsschelsea as well as @wpgpizzprincess to see some awesome pizza photography and keep up to date to where she orders from next!

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@wpgpizzaprincess

1. Vera Pizza – “can’t wait to check out Super Deluxe  their new restaurant!”
2. Pizziera Gusto
3. Pizza Land
4. Presto Pizza 
5. Pizza Hotline – “for when I order late night, thin crust only!”
6. DJays Restaurant 

xo.

Dj

Loving Yourself Through It All – w/ Meghan Zahari

The reality of “doing it all” is exhausting. Mothers are often so busy taking care of everything and everyone around them that they often forget to take care of the most important person – themselves.

Becoming a mother can sometimes make us feel as though any other meaning or identity we had before is gone. With the demands that our lives place on us, and with the expectations of society, it is easy to lose sight of who we are. As mother it is important that we become self-aware and take the time to care of ourselves both physically and mentally, not only for oneself but for our children.

One women who inspires me as a mother and a writer is co-owner of Bronuts, Meghan Zahari. Shes a donut shop owner by day, writer by night, mother and wife 24/7. Scrolling through her Instagram page and reading her work on Rouge Wood Supply, I am amazed with how she manages to stay sane and get it all done with such a busy schedule.

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https://www.instagram.com/meghanzahari/?hl=e

I exchanged a couple emails with Meghan asking her on her thoughts on self-love and rediscovery as a mother to avoid depression. She says, “The questions you get asked are all about your baby and sometimes about your body, so you’ll have to be bold and stick up for what’s going on inside your head. You’re not a bad mom if you feel sad or crowded. Do what you need to do, cause at the end of the day moms are still humans and we need to look after our physical and emotional needs just like anybody else.”

Despite taking care of your body and mind, as mothers we need to remember not lose ourselves or our identity in motherhood. Meghan shares, “It’s okay for you to have your own identity. It’s actually so good for your kids. I heard it said about motherhood once that martyrs make martyrs and creators make creators. I’ve never forgotten it.”

People have this ideal that being a “good” mother isn’t consistent with having time to yourself. It’s okay to be selfish and do something for your own fulfilment, regardless of what others think. It’s a necessity.  Meghan advised my readers, “Don’t let the expectations of culture dictate your feelings about yourself. The fact that you created a human should make you so proud of yourself. Be kind to yourself and look after your needs.”

I still consider myself a “new-mom”, but since day one I have always made sure to have my own identity beyond being “just Blu’s mom”. I made the choice not to let society control me. I don’t see why I should have to give up on my own ambitions and needs just because I am a mother.

 Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids. Love yourself enough to not lose yourself, because when you do everyone loses. Your children need you just as much as you need you. 

xo

Dj.

Society on Single Moms

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I completely adore my son and love being his mom. However, no matter how hard I work to improve my life I still have to deal with the social stigma associated with being a single mom. I decided after my son was born that I was going to work on myself, my happiness and stop listening to what society or man’s expectations of women and single mothers should be.

The “Slut Shame”

People assume that I am a single mother because I slept around. Personally I was in a five-year relationship with my high school boyfriend, once I became pregnant he realized he wasn’t ready to be a father. I didn’t chose to be a single mother. I wanted a family. Unfortunately, life didn’t work out the way I planned. 

I am a very busy 23-year-old women who takes care of her child and makes sure to take care of herself. I am perfectly capable of being a great mother and still enjoy casual dating or sex. Being a busy mother in school, I don’t exactly have the time or energy required to be in a relationship – I also don’t envy relationships these days, this coming from my past two experiences. I’m also not sure I want to introduce my son to any potential new partners. Some people are just not worthy enough to get to know that part of my life. I don’t want to expose my son to anything that may just be temporary, put him in jeopardy or confuse him.

It seems to be a common thought that single moms sleep around looking for attention from males. This frustrates me. I do not value myself any less, or seek any form of attention or replacement father for my son because I am a single mom. If I am in a relationship it is simply because I enjoy my partners company and they make me happy.

The “Single Mom”

It baffles me how some women and men throw around the “you’re a single mom” phrase like it is some insult or a bad thing. It almost as if they assume that because I am a single mom I should be miserable, broke and have no life or aspiration beside raising my child. I am capable of being a great mother and still enjoy having a social, dating or sex life outside the house. If anything, I was in a much worse place and completely unhappy before becoming a mom. Those who think otherwise should probably educate themselves and reconsider what they are saying or how their own mothers would feel hearing something like that.

I try not to let comments get to me. I have become a strong, independent woman for going through what I have. My reason for being a single mom is no one else’s business but my own. I am an awesome person, with an even better kid, anyone who assumes any less is missing out.  I am not going to let other people diminish my hard work, I will not allow them to define me, I will not be ashamed of being a single mother.

As women we struggle enough in society, and it is time to put an end to it, we cannot allow other affect our self-esteem and our self-worth. So please before you start making rude comments or assumptions of us try to put yourself in our shoes.

xo.

Dj

 

 

Happy 2nd Birthday Blu

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To celebrate my toddler’s second birthday this past weekend, we had a Blues Clues themed party. As he gets older and more aware of his surroundings, planning his birthdays becomes more exciting. I was pleased with the effort I put into this party on a low cost budget, so I thought I would share with you some photos and planning tips.

 

 

 

Invitations

Paperless invites are the easiest, most efficient way of reaching all your invitees. For your kid’s first few birthdays it’s nice to have actual paper invitation to keep as mementos. I wanted the perfect invitation to fit the theme of the party so I created my own invitation on Vistaprint, which allows you to pick and edit a template. Invitations can be expensive, so to save money I simply scanned/saved the invitation template and printed them out for .30 cents at the photo kiosk at Walmart. They came out perfect!image7

Venue

Deciding on the right venue really depends on the season, the child’s age, and the number of people attending. Unlike my birthday, which is in the summer, throwing his party outdoors is not an option. Throwing the party at home allowed me to save the cost of renting a place. It’s a more comfortable familiar place for my son and since most of the guest were adults I didn’t have to worry about space for kid activities.

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Decorations

The entire colour scheme were the two different blue shades of Blue. I decorated the place with balloons, photos of all the characters, Blues paw prints, the Thinking Chair, painted a purple mailbox, and of course a stuffed Blue, which I also ordered from Ebay. I even went as far as to dress my son in a similar shirt as Steve and Joe.

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Eats and Treats

The party was in the late afternoon, so that called for appetizers rather than a full meal. The food menu consisted of tinfoil ham and cheese buns, fruit, veggies, chips and bean dip, poutine bites, empanadas, and eggrolls. The food went pretty quickly. For sweets, I had blue colored candy, and for his red velvet cake I hired an old co-worker and the owner of Dolce Bake Shop.  The cake wasn’t exactly how I had ordered it but it still tasted great.

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Favors

This year we had a few more kids attend the party then the last so I strictly only made take-home baggies for them. I ordered Handy Dandy Notebooks, with the matching jumbo crayon, and Blues Clues stickers for every child, which I also ordered from Ebay.  I also included blue crystal candy, party noise makers, fruit snack and a paw print clue cookie made by the same baker as his cake. I had a few extra treats that I handed out to other guests to snack on.
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One thing I wish I had done and will think about the following year is to hire a professional photographer to snap some better quality photos. With every year that passes I plan to out-do myself a little more than the last. Overall the party turn-out was great, and most importantly Blu had a lot of fun.

Leave a comment below on your thoughts of the theme, and if you have any other cost-saving party tips!

xo

Dj

Meeting with mentor David Bell – Dash Agency

After having to take time off school, it took me almost two years after my sons birth to decide what I was going to study, whether it be to finish the degree I had previously started, or go into a new field of study. I decided I was going to pursue my dream and study Public Relations. Before enrolling back into school and the new program I first did my research on local careers in the industry. The agency that caught my interest is Dash Agency.

Who?

I have been lucky enough to meet, and interview David Bell (one of the founders and president of Dash Agency), on two occasions. David has been named in the Marketing Magazine’s Top 30 Under-30 list, and is on the board for Calgary’s Ad Rodeo Association, and Manitoba’s Advertising & Marketing Association. Dash has done some incredible work with clients that include The Canadian Museum for Human Rights, EPH Apparel, Aveda Canada, and Variety Manitoba.

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http://www.dashagency.com/about

In high school David had started a YouTube channel, which eventually led him to having millions of followers. This lead him to learning all about subscribers, and how to create content, how to market, and engage it. He eventually wanted to turn this into building clients, and to generate more revenue. One thing he wishes he knew before going into his career is that when seeking clients, one needs to know how to set expectations on what you believe your results will be, whether it be good or bad. That it is also important to focus on culture, and emulate those you look up to.

Advice 

David, including all my professors have told me the most crucial advice when it comes to PR and getting your name out there is by networking, and building relationships with your clients. Because PR is a very social career it is important how well you’re engaged, what content you produce, and how big your following is. Being optimistic is the number one thing, because in this business if something goes wrong it is important to be able to handle the situation every single time, while always having a smile on your face.

He also shared that when he is looking into hiring new candidates he looks at a person’s portfolio, and if they have any freelance work. This helps you stand out from others, it is important to know how to pitch to new clients and how to persuade and contact the media. Depending on where you’re working you need to focus on culture, and emulate those you look up to, and study what other agencies and people are doing in bigger cities across the world.

It is great that an agency I look up to, and aspire to work for takes the time in their busy schedule to meet with students like me. Although meeting with him I got a little nervous and lost, he still made the entire experience comfortable, and easy.

If any of you aspire to work for any agency or company and want to get a little more info or feedback, I strongly suggested speaking to someone in the field, you’d be surprised how willing and eager they are to help you.

Dj.

My Fitness Journey

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Being a busy, single mom while studying full time can make it hard to always find the time to work out. At the end of the school day I am tired, hungr and usually have an assignment or studying to do. However, I know that when I take the time and pride in my health and fitness, that it has a more positive impact on my daily life.

Finding My Motivation 

Growing up I never had the problem with being obese, but I was never happy with my body. I labeled myself as “skinny fat”, that’s when you have a small build, don’t weigh much, have zero muscle, and a high body fat percentage. Before my son was born I didn’t really care as much about my eating habits, or making time for the gym. Although, I still thought I was eating healthy (I really wasn’t) and I was going to the gym a few times a week (or month), I was limiting myself to strictly cardio and ab workouts. I had no knowledge about living, and maintaining a healthy, fit lifestyle.

Before I became pregnant I always pictured how I would handle my pregnancy with the cravings and weight gain. I always said I would measure and track my food in order not to gain too much weight. That didn’t happen, I gained about 20lbs. Throughout my entire pregnancy I was going through a very bad breakup with my then boyfriend, my sons father. I had become very depressed and stressed with my life. Once my son was born I turned to health and fitness. I was determined to get out of my slump, and turn that into my motivation. I was ready to do something for myself, and to show my ex what he was missing out.

Getting Started 

Since I was new and inexperienced, I hired a trainer and good friend of mine Rj Padua, from NLT (No Limit Training). I have him to thank for teaching me all there is to know, for pushing me and motivating me. I also was able to teach myself on how to diet, and other workouts with the help of Instagram and the internet. Once I began working again I unfortunately wasn’t able to make the time to work out with NLT.  I had to plan my days and meals in advance, and work a schedule out with my mom, in order to maintain the new lifestyle. Thanks to the internet and Instagram, I was able to teach myself further on fitness and venture off on my own.

It has now been two full years since I began my fitness journey, and it doesn’t stop here. Being healthy and fit has allowed me to become a much happier, confident woman, it has truly helped me in all aspects of my life. Yes, it is costly and time consuming but don’t think of it as taking time away from your family, think of it as giving back to them with a more energetic, vibrant, and healthy you.

xo.

Dj.

I Am A Single Mom

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My Story 

I am a single mom. It took me awhile to say that with confidence. I always had the idea that to be a real family you needed two parents, or that you had to get married first, boy was I wrong. I don’t have the best opinion of men, and don’t take the experiences I share as daddy bashing, its far from it. I am just a women that is real and raw, who is not ashamed of being a single mother.

I have a two year old son named Blu, he is my happiness, as well as the reason behind this strong, independent, confident women. In such a short period of time I have come to grow and learn so much with parenting and in myself. Things I never imagined possible. I have made some amazing new relationships, as well as improved my life and the way I think, and see the world. However, I am still fairly new at this, I still have my share of battles.

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Being a single mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. Trying to have a social life ontop of being a parent, and a full time student is possible but it’s not easy. Parenting alone can be overwhelming. Without a partner it can be very isolating. Some days are rough, at times I feel alone and can become frustrated.

It is so important to have a support group of family and friends. I grew up having a single mom. I watched her struggle emotionally and financially. She worked her butt off to make sure my brother and I always had a place to sleep and food to eat. She has been the most supportive person since my pregnancy, and help with raising my son. We might not always get along but I appreciate her for never giving up on me and inspiring me to be my best.

Although I haven’t always embraced raising a child alone, I completely adore my son, and love being his mom. Watching him grow into this incredible little man reminds me that it is more than the smelly diapers and endless crying. As I continue on with motherhood and all its challenges, it is important to remember we are all HUMAN, we have all faced our demons. Mistakes will be made when raising a child and its ok. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know why fate turned me down this path but it has been one remarkable journey.

My Goal

I know I am not the first and I won’t be the last but I want to share my story and my bit of wisdom as a young single mother to help empower other young moms. We all need connection, encouragement, and the realization that others have been where you are. I believe that all single moms have the power within, to create a life they are proud of and love.

So let’s talk, let’s connect,  and let’s support each other!

If you want to know more about what to expect from this blog, make sure you stop by the about me page.

xo.

Dj