To wait or not to wait – Does it matter?
As a woman in her mid 20’s, I have a high libido, I am not ashamed to say it. I enjoy sex, I love sex, no I don’t sleep around and no I don’t just sleep with anyone. If any readers here want to call me names, go right ahead. You’re not hurting my feelings.

However, what does bug me is whether or not sleeping with a guy too soon is going to make him more or less interested in you.

I was talking to friend the other day about a guy I recently met and whether or not holding off on sex really made a difference on how he perceived me, or kills any chance of having a relationship.  She told me “I don’t think it would have made a difference if you had waited. If sex is all he wants from you it won’t matter if it’s the first night or the 100th.”

I thought about it and figured she had a point. As young girls we are told to wait to have sex until marriage or for “the one”. That it should be a conquest, and used to get guys to do what we want. That the longer we wait, the more we hold out, the more he’ll chase. While waiting may lead to more dates and developing feelings for someone, who may potentially not even be interested in you, it really won’t make a difference. Having sex with a guy and learning these things early on might actually save you.

Yet here I am over analyzing all of this, still wondering am I ruining my chances of having a serious relationship or meeting Mr. Right by allowing myself to subjugate to my sexual urges?

What do you think?



4 thoughts on “To wait or not to wait – Does it matter?

  1. The whole problem is that you’re viewing it as something to be “given up” by the female and “taken” by the male, maybe it’s an experience that is being “mutually shared” aka 50-50 consensual.

    It’s not a giver-taker dynamic. Your motive for doing something shouldn’t be to manipulate and illicit certain future behaviours or actions from the other person.

    Two adults are going to have mutual consensual sex if they both want to at whatever time they both choose, if you’re overthinking and analyzing it beyond that or doing so before you’re ready and want to then I’m sorry but you’re the one playing games.


    1. I don’t view sex as something to be earned or given up. Never said that. When I want to have sex and feel the moment I do it. My thought was by doing so is that influencing how male perspective sees me as dating not dating material

      Liked by 1 person

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